self ca
Why taking therapy is NOT equal to talking to your mother or a friend?
I have been taking talk therapy for last one and a half years. My experience so far has told me it is anything but ‘just talking’ and absolutely nothing like talking to anyone I know. Don’t get me wrong, you may have the best of friends/ parents and have the most patient listeners in them (which I do too) who may give you great advises at the time of your crisis, but talk therapy is definitely different.
Here is how…
1) Speaking to an absolute stranger: The fact that I did not know my therapist at all is what made this relationship work well. Since there were no personal strings attached, it meant that I did not have to fulfill the person’s said and unsaid expectations. I was not “supposed” to be of a kind and not “behave” in a way. The more I have been in the sessions, the more I have become aware of how I would allow these little things to change mu behavior, even if subtly, when I met different kind of people. Being in therapy, has taught me to begin the process learning to “be me”.
2) Unbiased Perspective: Talking to a therapist gave me an unbiased perspective to a great extent which was hard to get from other sources. Whenever I spoke to people, I found, that it is bound to happen that their suggestions, advice might have the hint of fear, anger, possessive feeling, neglect or extra enthusiasm that may or may not really work for me. Many a times, in life, one needs objectivity to look at the situations or even at oneself. Being objective is a difficult process which is time taking to learn. Most good therapists are trained to do that which people around us are not.
3) Different Perspective: Yes! With an unbiased perspective also comes perspective-different perspective. Talk therapy isn’t only just talk-talk. It is also so much about being able to talk, introspect, reflect, think, feel (feel a lot!) and talk again. NOT necessarily in the same order but it does have all these elements to it.
Often, most of us have characteristics like our parents and relatives to some extent. We choose our partners in the same league (even if they seem so different!). Our friends, may think and believe like we do and the sameness of it may many-a-times make it difficult to see ourselves truly in the light of our belief systems.
Therapy helps us to peel the layers enabling us to see our life a bit differently and ponder over the things we believe in. Especially the ‘why’ of it!
4) It’s YOUR time! It took me like an eternity, to not apologize while I was letting my feelings out to the therapist. I felt, I was being rude, insensitive, burdening someone else with my problems. The fact that I would speak for almost half the session uninterrupted gave me jitters later! It only became easier after a couple of months, when I was able to really be myself and not apologize for being so. I could cry, laugh and be angry. It is not that I cannot do that in the world outside my therapy room, but in every relationship there is a give and take. That might become burdensome, sometimes, when one is (like I was) not able to take anymore. Having a space completely to oneself does a great deal of good. :-)
I have benefited from therapy a lot and have come to understand how necessary it was and still is in my life. That is I would request you to atleast try it once if you haven’t yet. It helps! Certainly does.
I will like to take a moment here to thank my therapist, who has been very patient with me and supportive through the thick and thin of my life moments this whole time. THANK YOU!
To those who might still have questions about therapy MedCirlce’s video will give you a great understanding of it. Cheers to life!
